Thanksgiving?

Posted by admin in Stories on 11 21st, 2009 | one response

Anyone wish they could just numb out the holidays? Another Thanksgiving and Christmas with an empty cradle…makes it tough to count the blessings, right? Thanksgiving used to be my favorite time of year, the cool weather, the leaves changing, and family….my great family enjoying the time together, singing, laughing, reminiscing. It used to feel like the purest form of love and gratitude, spending the holidays with family. It’s not so innocent and playful anymore. The dark cloud over me seems to pour when I’m around my family these days. I miss the feelings I used to feel before the “infertility-beast” came into my life. Things like love, laughter, and joy don’t feel the same to me anymore. As hard as I try to kick it to the curb, even for one evening, it’s always there to torture me.

So, where’s the thankful part? There is always another side to everything and perspective can make or break the quality of any experience I have. Easier said than done….I know. But here’s the thing: this year, I am going to think about all of you so that in moments of despair, I can cling to all your messages of hope and strength. I can’t really change my situation today, but I can think about it differently by knowing that I am not alone in this.

Confession for the day: For just today, I will try and live in the very moment that I am in, not a moment before or later.