About Me

Okay, so here’s my story. I hope that anyone who “wishes to be a mommy” can relate and will share your confessions of this journey no matter what stage of the process you are in, and most importantly, how you tackle the beast of infertility.

I wish I were here to tell you that I discovered the cure for bloating, or that it really is possible to be too rich and too beautiful, or even 10 things you can do with a ladle. But in the end, I’m afraid it’s just about the infertililty. I am a firm believer of support and anyone in need is welcome here and will receieve support here.

After 3 years of TTC and countless failed fertility treatments and on the verge of complete meltdown, I realized there was more to share–or really more to confess about how this all really affects my life today as a girl just trying to have a baby. There’s only so much that can be said outloud to friends and family because it’s so damn dark, but we need a place for this-a place where we can do just that, share our demons about all of this, safely and anonymously.

Here’s what happened with me in a nutshell: at the beginning of our journey, we were told that I had a mildish case of Endometriosis and had to have surgery on the dysfunctional ovary, and because we were new at the process and believed to be in the best hands, I didn’t ask questions and just agreed. What I didn’t know was that a huge chunk of my ovary was going to be removed, thereby, making it very difficult for that ovary to produce eggs from then on. So, our first round of IVF was canceled after five days as no eggs were produced at all! We switched doctors and when on to round two of IVF which resulted in 3 embryos transfers but zero implantations. After that, we did round 3 of IVF and only 1 egg fertilized but not good enough for transfer. Meanwhile, our doctor realizes that we should have been screened for another test that would have given another important piece to the puzzle but waited until we have 2 failed IVF attempts to bring it up and in fact, that test turned out to determine a crucial part of our problem. So, we changed doctors again-since $20,000 a pop is a lot of money to spend at an IVF clinic that really isn’t paying enough attention to you…

So, we changed doctors again! This 3rd and final change was to the right doctor for us, but still no luck. We had 3 more rounds of IVF that failed, and we tried doing a couple natural cycles without medication, which were a complete disaster for both me and my husband, and thus ended our 2 years of IVF. The good news is that there are plenty of options still ahead of us, adoption, egg donation, etc., and we will get there eventually. But in the meantime, life does go on and trying to reconnect to my life having been through all of this, is simply…a challenge. And I know that so many others have similar stories and are trying to survive the infertility beast.

I would love to hear your stories, secrets, and confessions about your experiences because there is hope and laughter in all that we have been through and of course, I wish you well in all of your future-to-be mommy adventures with lots and lots of baby dust to each and every one of you!

Best,
wishtobeamommy