Wish To Be A Mommy » egg donation

The Gift that Keeps on Giving…

admin — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:51:26 +0000

Ummmmm-ok, was my reaction after our first meeting with the egg donation people (EDP), I don’t know what else to call them even though that seems so vanilla-but, that’s what they are, right? I gotta say, this was an experience for the books–listening to a woman with an elevator pitch so precise with just the right combination of emotion and poise, try to sell us another woman’s eggs–boy, that’s a conversation you could never predict. Is she for real?, I kept thinking, I know for us it coudn’t have been more serious but how she kept a straight face the entire time I will never know. I know that’s terrible, I mean afterall, this woman could become the most important person in my life, in fact, she already is! The only part of this meeting that felt even remotely “normal” to me what the fact that we were rating women, seriously. I’ve been sort of secretly doing that my whole life, you know, real, fake, etc. Rating someone on their egg quality is slightly different, and I found myself caring about their SAT scores as well as their natural hair color! This is just rediculous! Most people just have sex and all those qualities are automatically determined-now WE are choosing the ingredients-dare I call this creepy…for me, a little bit.

But I’m curious, if this is the only way to have a child, would you do it?

Egg Swapping

admin — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 18:49:11 +0000

All sorts of things come up during the IF journey, at least for me. What I mean is, different options, courses, doctors, treatments, and of course there are feelings that are attached to everything. I think I have learned to manage the different emotions that arise and how to navigate through them without becoming homicidal. It hasn’t been perfect-I’m sure I have taken a few hostages here and there. I’m only human. I couldn’t even put together 25 days of positive thinking, but I got 3! One of the things that has become clear to me is that there are options-the IF journey can continue as long as our little hearts desire, or until they break. We can buy just about any organ from a donor if we are willing to pay for it, or we accept the needed reproductive material from a friend. Yes, that’s what I said, we can accept eggs or sperm from our friends. Who ever thinks of this stuff? I didn’t…I mean, growing up it never occurred to me that my best friend from childhood would one day offer her eggs to me…but she did. I have to say that of all the offers I’ve had in my life and all the gifts I’ve been given, nothing could even come close to this one. The timing wasn’t right for us and so it didn’t happen, but I’m wondering if others accept this gift of life? I also have to admit that I knew if we accepted her offer, all of our lives would change and there would always be that chance that our friendship wouldn’t be the same, how could it? A little piece of me was too scared to take that chance even if it meant having a child. But I’ll always wonder…

We are headed into the world of egg donation and I have a feeling there is going to be a lot more to say–it took me a year just to wrap my head around the idea but I got there. I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday and of course, lots of baby dust!!

A Little Friendly Egg Donation

admin — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:26:09 +0000

This whole infertility thing has turned into a life of its own, it kind of feels like a monster that just gets bigger and bigger, sucking the life out of everything in its sight. I don’t know of an uglier beast. Am I exaggerating? Maybe a little…

The beast, I’ve discovered, actually has some redeeming qualities. Hard to believe, I know, but lately all signs seem to be pointing in the same direction–the road to egg donation. The idea of egg donation has been sort of a faint and misty cloud hanging over me for some time, its presence always felt but not really tangible. The moment I say yes to egg donation is kind of a mini surrender that forces me to acknowledge that I can’t have my own child. And maybe that’s the answer…to follow this new path that all the signs are pointing to. I can’t help but wonder if I should be looking for the big sign though, you know, the burning bush or the shooting star. Or will the feeling be more internal, something that feels stronger and stronger over time–like love.

Confession for the day is that I am fairly resentful that this continues to rob me of time, money, and emotional stability–over and over and over.