Trapped in a Human Suit

Does anyone feel like a fuckin’ alien for be not being able to have a baby? I mean really, isn’t this like a right of passage for any woman who wants to have a child? I must be an alien trapped in a human body, but with an alien’s uterus no doubt!  Here’s what I don’t get-why give me the parts if they’re not...

Running on Empty Ovaries

Hey everyone!  One of my readers recently let me know that my posts just haven’t been the same lately, not as heartfelt, or complete with my usual ramblings of self pity and impending emotional catastrophe. I kinda miss it to. All that positive thinking, trying to look on the bright side of things, didn’t really work out so much....

If you can’t beat em’…

I have to say, there is really nothing quite as lovely as seeing my “fertility” friends finally get themselves knocked up. I was sitting around a large table at Starbucks last night with about 10 girlfriends, enjoying the silliness and the chatter going back and forth.  I secretly knew that one of my friends at the table is pregnant,...

And the hits just keep on comin…

There are some things you just simply cannot say no to, like attending your boss’s baby shower-ouch! Would it be rude to bring my own vodka? I know I keep harping on this baby shower and pregnant boss sob story but it’s in my face every single day….and now this shower! So, in addition to the 40 hours a week that I spend with...

The Money Train

  If you think it, will it come? Money….that is. Lets face it, the exorbitant, racket of a cost that is necessary to go through IVF is basically non-negotiable and for most of us, crippling, financially crippling. So, if you have been lucky enough to survive the financial bombshell, the depleting of your savings, and the embarrassment of...

9 Lives?

I’ve noticed that our little IF community feels kind of like a pack, or at least we treat each other with that sort of “pack” mentality that you see with dogs and cats. We have a pack, 2 dogs and 2 cats and there’s safety in a group, don’t you think? After one of our cats spent the night tossing her cookies all over...

IF and Paradise?

My mom used to say to me, ”trouble in paradise dear?” She was referring to our once “normal” relationship. Take a look at this picture, the proportions are not too far off…we should look pretty close to this by the time we have a family, if ever. Anyone relate?  I just had a birthday a couple weeks ago, another...

So Much For That Idea…

Well, my intentions were good..honestly. But, negative thinking got the better of me, my most consistent recreational hazard. In my defense, I decided that this website is about my truth, my real experience with fighting the infertility monster, and not a superficial one. So in a nutshell, I couldn’t come up with anymore positive...

23 Days Left of 2009

Well, I must be making progress because my cousin finally gave birth to two little twin boys and I didn’t jump out the window. I know this is gutwrenching stuff for most of us going through this process, the joy that we witness in friends and family who are adding little miracles to their families, but there’s no escaping it. I...

24 Days Left of 2009

As promised, I am trying some experimental thinking for the remainder of this year, 2009. Hmmmm–it’s actually tough to come up with positive suggestions as a result of, or despite of, our experiences with IF. Humility comes to mind today and the famous words of Mother Theresa, “The path to humility is through...