23 Days Left of 2009

Well, I must be making progress because my cousin finally gave birth to two little twin boys and I didn’t jump out the window. I know this is gutwrenching stuff for most of us going through this process, the joy that we witness in friends and family who are adding little miracles to their families, but there’s no escaping it. I...

24 Days Left of 2009

As promised, I am trying some experimental thinking for the remainder of this year, 2009. Hmmmm–it’s actually tough to come up with positive suggestions as a result of, or despite of, our experiences with IF. Humility comes to mind today and the famous words of Mother Theresa, “The path to humility is through...

25 Days left of 2009: 25 Ways to Heal Before 2010

There’s a lot of self pity in the infertility business, wouldn’t you agree? Day in and day out, I seem to play the same tapes over and over again. It’s like a constant chatter of negative thinking on top of hopelessness on top of self loathing. But I’m wondering as this year comes to end, where has this thinking gotten...

Tacky Patrol

I’m sorry but I have to say this–people say the stupidest things! One of the comments that I read over and over again are the asinine things that people to say to us. What could possibly be happening in someone’s brain when they are uttering the words, “I’m so sorry you can’t have any children, maybe...

Thanksgiving?

Anyone wish they could just numb out the holidays? Another Thanksgiving and Christmas with an empty cradle…makes it tough to count the blessings, right? Thanksgiving used to be my favorite time of year, the cool weather, the leaves changing, and family….my great family enjoying the time together, singing, laughing, reminiscing. It...

New Rules for Pregnant Friends?

There are all sorts of rules out there that we kind of live by when it comes to our friends, and it starts very young when boys show up on our radar. I think we all know what they are, an unspoken code that lets us know that we are safe with our friends and that they have our back. We may have been clicky and gossipy, but we never stole each...

Is this a Spiritual problem?

I’ve been thinking a lot about how my concept of God may effect my attitude about my infertility, and I thought I might share this new found insight. Is it possible that God would never intend for any of us to suffer from infertility? Or, are we supposed to accept that this might be God’s will for us? I don’t think I could go...

And Then There Was One…

I’m starting to stand out more and more at family gatherings, being that I am the only one who can’t get pregnant. And I mean the only one! The truth is, it’s starting to feel very awkward for me and even embarrassing. Sometimes I just don’t want to show up. I don’t think I can stand to hear my mom talk about an...

Knocked Out-Not Up!

Another day for me and my empty uterus..and at this very moment someone in the world is giving birth-probably someone who got pregnant with IVF on the first try.  Every day I wake up with the feeling that I have been knocked out, but I get up anyway and get through the day as best I can. And then I get up and do it again the next day. So my...

Eggscentric

I gotta admit, I’m completely powerless over my little eggs getting fertilized but it doesn’t stop me from giving them a piece of my mind. “Now, when you see them swimming toward you, sit very still, in fact, egg em on a little”–but nothing, absolutely nothing. Confession for the day: talking out loud to my eggs is a...