Egg Swapping

All sorts of things come up during the IF journey, at least for me. What I mean is, different options, courses, doctors, treatments, and of course there are feelings that are attached to everything. I think I have learned to manage the different emotions that arise and how to navigate through them without becoming homicidal. It hasn’t been...

So Much For That Idea…

Well, my intentions were good..honestly. But, negative thinking got the better of me, my most consistent recreational hazard. In my defense, I decided that this website is about my truth, my real experience with fighting the infertility monster, and not a superficial one. So in a nutshell, I couldn’t come up with anymore positive...

23 Days Left of 2009

Well, I must be making progress because my cousin finally gave birth to two little twin boys and I didn’t jump out the window. I know this is gutwrenching stuff for most of us going through this process, the joy that we witness in friends and family who are adding little miracles to their families, but there’s no escaping it. I...

24 Days Left of 2009

As promised, I am trying some experimental thinking for the remainder of this year, 2009. Hmmmm–it’s actually tough to come up with positive suggestions as a result of, or despite of, our experiences with IF. Humility comes to mind today and the famous words of Mother Theresa, “The path to humility is through...

25 Days left of 2009: 25 Ways to Heal Before 2010

There’s a lot of self pity in the infertility business, wouldn’t you agree? Day in and day out, I seem to play the same tapes over and over again. It’s like a constant chatter of negative thinking on top of hopelessness on top of self loathing. But I’m wondering as this year comes to end, where has this thinking gotten...

Tacky Patrol

I’m sorry but I have to say this–people say the stupidest things! One of the comments that I read over and over again are the asinine things that people to say to us. What could possibly be happening in someone’s brain when they are uttering the words, “I’m so sorry you can’t have any children, maybe...

Thanksgiving?

Anyone wish they could just numb out the holidays? Another Thanksgiving and Christmas with an empty cradle…makes it tough to count the blessings, right? Thanksgiving used to be my favorite time of year, the cool weather, the leaves changing, and family….my great family enjoying the time together, singing, laughing, reminiscing. It...

A Little Friendly Egg Donation

This whole infertility thing has turned into a life of its own, it kind of feels like a monster that just gets bigger and bigger, sucking the life out of everything in its sight. I don’t know of an uglier beast. Am I exaggerating? Maybe a little… The beast, I’ve discovered, actually has some redeeming qualities. Hard to believe,...

New Rules for Pregnant Friends?

There are all sorts of rules out there that we kind of live by when it comes to our friends, and it starts very young when boys show up on our radar. I think we all know what they are, an unspoken code that lets us know that we are safe with our friends and that they have our back. We may have been clicky and gossipy, but we never stole each...

Is this a Spiritual problem?

I’ve been thinking a lot about how my concept of God may effect my attitude about my infertility, and I thought I might share this new found insight. Is it possible that God would never intend for any of us to suffer from infertility? Or, are we supposed to accept that this might be God’s will for us? I don’t think I could go...