IVFer

I hate to admit it but I sort of consider myself an “IVF lifer”, if you know what I mean. I’ve been through several failed attempts at IVF, each with its own unique twisted story, but now I am left with the empty feeling of someone who simply wants to be a mommy. I could share all the drama that went on during these disastrous...

It’s Just Another Manic Monday

Well, I survived another childless weekend but I had to avoid the big bash baby shower of the year that took place on Saturday. I did send a $100 gift certificate though which is the going rate for I feel guilty and ashamed for not being there but i’m happy for you, really…I have noticed a slow pattern of disconnect beginning to...

And Then There Was One…

I’m starting to stand out more and more at family gatherings, being that I am the only one who can’t get pregnant. And I mean the only one! The truth is, it’s starting to feel very awkward for me and even embarrassing. Sometimes I just don’t want to show up. I don’t think I can stand to hear my mom talk about an...

Knocked Out-Not Up!

Another day for me and my empty uterus..and at this very moment someone in the world is giving birth-probably someone who got pregnant with IVF on the first try.  Every day I wake up with the feeling that I have been knocked out, but I get up anyway and get through the day as best I can. And then I get up and do it again the next day. So my...

Eggscentric

I gotta admit, I’m completely powerless over my little eggs getting fertilized but it doesn’t stop me from giving them a piece of my mind. “Now, when you see them swimming toward you, sit very still, in fact, egg em on a little”–but nothing, absolutely nothing. Confession for the day: talking out loud to my eggs is a...

Sexspectations

Every single time I go to the dentist (every six months) I am fiercely reminded that I cannot have my teeth cleaned during the first trimester. What?? Has everyone gone completely insane! And of course as they are reminding me, they are giving me the “hurry up wink” as if they know I only have 7 eggs left! That’s probably an...

Conspiracy Theory

We went to a family wedding this weekend which was lovely…until I was reminded once again that I am the freak in the family who can’t get pregnant. I don’t mind sitting at a table with childhood friends and cousins who are attached to strollers at the hip and the talk of more children on the way, really I don’t! As long as...

A New Stork

I ran into RE #2 this week at a starbucks-he looked right through me, not a clue! He came highly recommended and was a very nice guy, but just not right for us. Judging by his blank stare, I’m quite sure that was the right call. My confession for the day is that I wish we got the doctor thing right from the beginning and didn’t waste...

Double whammy

Did I mention that my cousin, pregnant with twins, went to the same IVF doctor that we did…and got pregnant on the first try? Did I mention we work at the same place? It’s a good thing I still have my sense of humor or I might have taken a hostage by now. Do you ever wonder what people’s breaking points are? I guess that’s...

Emotional hangover

Survival is key when you have a pregnant boss who is not only hormonal, but expects you to get your work done. Showing up to work is such a challenge today; and that’s my true confession for the day. This is in my face for a reason; and I find that there is a lesson in every challenge whether I want to learn it or not…so what is the...